10 Ways to Prepare for the Safe Sex Talk

Sexual attraction is a fact of life. We meet that special someone and Bang! A powerful connection is made that leads an irresistible desire to have sex. It may be more common when you are young, single and feeling a bit impulsive, but it can happen to anyone, at any age. We call it “sexual chemistry.” However, mixing chemicals can be dangerous if you lack information about how they will react when mixed together. Having unprotected sex with someone, without knowing their sexual history and is just as risky as mixing two unknown chemicals together. Sometimes the result maybe life threatening, sometimes a non-event and on rare occasions an amazing discovery is made.

Having the Safe Sex Talk

Sex is a healthy part of life and a powerful way to share love and intimacy. It is important to learn how to be clear and honest about your sexual history before engaging in sex. Unprotected sex can lead to infection, pregnancy, infertility, and life-threatening diseases.Know your own sexual history.

Get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STI’s) regularly.
Practice sharing your sexual history with a friend so you are comfortable talking about it.
Get educated about STI’s- know their prevalence, risks, and treatments.
Commit to discussing safer sex before engaging in any exchange of body fluids.
Have the discussion in a neutral atmosphere, not as you are about to climb in bed together.
Be prepared, carry condoms with you and know how to use them. Practice before hand.
Know your bottom line. What risks are you NOT willing to take? Be ready to say NO!
Pregnancy is also a risk of unprotected intercourse. Use birth control if you don’t want a baby.
If you have taken risks in the past, don’t be afraid to get tested and treated.
Love yourself enough to set healthy boundaries and honor them.

How to Begin

When you meet someone and feel that sexual chemistry is there be aware that you need to have the safer sex talk before you find yourself in a sexually charged situation. When the time feels right begin by acknowledging the attraction you feel. “Ever since we met I have been aware that I am very attracted to you sexually.” Find out if the feeling is mutual. There is no need to share your history with someone who has no desire to be sexual with you. If they are also interested in becoming sexually involved then tell them you would like to set aside a time to have a discussion about safer sex and to share your sexual histories with each other.

Getting Tested

Depending on how sexually active you have been, the last time you were tested and any risky behaviors you may have had since then, you may choose to go and get an STI exam and HIV test before you have the safer sex talk. This way you will have current information to share either before or shortly after your discussion. The testing can be done with your doctor’s office, at a public health center, or family planning clinic. STI’s tests may include: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea (the Clap), Syphilis, Candida (yeast infection), Hepatitis B, Herpes simplex 1 and 2, HIV, HPV (genital warts and cervical dysplasia), Crabs, and Trichomonis (trich). While you are there ask any questions you have and pick up information about birth control, STI’s and HIV.

Having the Talk

Meet in a private place when you won’t be disturbed. Make sure you have a couple of hours set aside so that you don’t have to stop in the middle. Turn off your cell phones. Bring your test results with you if you have them. One powerful way to begin is by each sharing your intention for this communication, any fears or concerns you have about this talk and any boundaries you need to express. A boundary is what you need to feel safe and stay open, it is not a wall, it is a bridge to help you stay present. A healthy boundary for this communication might be to agree that whatever is shared will remain confidential. Another type of boundary is, “I need to end by 10 pm.”

Then agree who will go first. Only one person should speak at a time. The other person listens quietly and only interrupts if they need to clarify a specific detail. When the first person is complete then switch roles. Topics to cover may include:

History of STI’s. Were they successfully treated? Last date tested.
HIV risks- IV drug use, unprotected anal sex, homosexual encounters, and unprotected sex with prostitutes. The results of your last HIV test results. Any risks since then?
History of risky behavior- unprotected sex or partners who had unprotected sex. IV drug use or partners who used IV drugs. Use of drugs and alcohol during or before sexual activity.
The number of sexual partners you have had. The risk of STI’s and HIV increases if you have unprotected sex with multiple partners.
History of rape, blood transfusions or other risks.
Agreeing to keep each other’s sexual history and test results confidential.

Sexual expression is important part of a healthy life-style and is wonderful way to share love and intimacy. This talk is the beginning of your relating on an intimate level with this person. Honesty is a great way to build respect and trust. Know that you are responsible for the choices you make. Only you can protect yourself. Don’t rely on someone else to protect you. Sex involves risk, as does all of life. By practicing safer sex you are limiting the risks you are taking. You are making conscious choices and accepting the possible risks involved. The only 100% guarantee for avoiding the risk of STI’s and pregnancy is abstaining from sexual contact. I hope that this article supports you in having a healthy and enjoyable sex-life.

One of the Many Myths About Seduction

There are plenty of myths that tend to circulate around the topic of seduction. Plenty of times, guys who just don’t know any better will fall for these myths and then they don’t understand why they are not doing any better with women than they were before they learned them. Of course, they don’t realize that these are myths in the first place, so they basically just keep trying the same things over and over again and expect that one day they are going to get things right. So, what is one of the many myths about seduction that I am going to talk about in this article?

Well, it is the myth that seduction is all about sex and sex alone. That may be true for the guys that just don’t get it (pun intended on that one), but it’s certainly not true for the guys that are successful at seducing women. The guys who get it understand that it is more than just hoping to have sex with a woman. It is more about connecting with her and having a great time that eventually leads to a sexual scenario later on. Sometimes the later on isn’t really that much later on, but that is another story altogether.

Why does it matter that you know that this is a myth if you are hoping to get good at being able to attract and seduce a woman?

Because the guys who walk around with the obvious intention of trying just to get a woman into bed for sex tend to be obvious to any woman who is experienced enough to have dealt with more than a few of these types in the past. That includes most attractive women, because most guys who are trying hard to get laid do try to approach the hot women first and usually get shot down and have to settle for something else later on in the night. One of the reasons that guys who are just trying to get laid have such a hard time actually getting laid is… they rush the entire process and that ends up backfiring on them. Really, I could even say that these guys don’t really have much of a process at all and that is a major factor for their lack of success.

Time and time again, I have seen that the men who are good at bedding women and who don’t have to be so desperate about getting laid don’t have the attitude that all they are after is just the sex. It’s part of it, that is for sure, it’s just not all of it. And that tends to resonate well with most women. Your average really good looking woman that you meet in a club or a bar doesn’t mind having a hook up if the mood suits her, but she does not want to be just a conquest to boost some guy’s ego.

Get Your Girlfriend Turned on With These 3 Tips

Whether you have a girlfriend right now or you plan on having one in the near future, you surely have to be skilled in one area that far too many men are not. You have to be skilled at turning her on because you do not want to see the look of disappointment on her face when you are intimate with her and it just does not seem to do the trick in her eyes. The good thing is that your average woman is not going to throw it in your face that she was left unsatisfied. More than likely, she is going to fake it just to make you feel better about yourself. Still, what would you rather get from her – a look of pure pleasure on her face that is real, or a fake look that makes you realize that you did not really turn her on the way that you thought you were going to be able to?

Most guys place a lot of importance on their perceived ability to get a woman turned on, but if you ever get the chance to speak candidly with a lot of women… you find out that there are many men that just don’t realize that they are not nearly as talented as they think they are.

Here are 3 tips that can help you get your girlfriend turned on so that you don’t have to worry about whether or not she is faking it:

1) Become a master of making a full night of it.

Okay, I don’t mean that you need to last all night with her. But, if you do really want to leave her feeling satisfied, then you are going to have to make things special for her. And that starts before you end up in the bedroom. Take the time to plan out things that you can do that are going to make her happy before you take a turn for the bedroom.

2) Show her that you know what the true meaning of foreplay is.

This is where a lot of guys mess things up. What they think is foreplay and what their girlfriend thinks is foreplay can often be two vastly different things. If you don’t really know what you should be doing during foreplay, don’t be afraid to ask her. I am sure that she would much rather you ask and get it right, then to act like you know and get it wrong.

3) Celebrate variety by changing things up now and again.

Boring sex is just that. Boring sex. Besides learning to get her turned on during foreplay, you may also want to find a few new positions that you can try out so that things are not boring and dull and routine when it comes to the bedroom. You don’t want her to feel like it is the same thing every single time, do you?